Man, so much to say. So little worth saying.
Not trying to sound like a lyric or poetic, but that is how I feel.
I have started typing a blog post so many times in the last few months and I usually get about 3-4 paragraphs in, and self-doubt creeps in. I start questioning my own premise. Not sure I am worried about being right or wrong. I am worried about what whoever reads it will think of me.
If you are reading this, you are probably one of the few who read regularly, and a couple of you know me personally…anonymous writing had advantages, but there is always the being known.
Also for me, because I am running from something, hiding out here, I feel vulnerable to unforeseen dangers.
What if this person finds me here? What if word gets out I have a blog? What if, what if what if?
I feel I have something to say. Only a handful read it, and I have had positive feedback.
It’s the shame of my past. I have no right to write anything with authority. Who am I that I should be able to critique or even have an opinion on spiritual and moral matters?
I am not sure if this is a farewell post or not.
This blog started as a journal, suggested to me by someone who was counseling me through a very rough patch in my life. One that I am not sure will ever end here on earth.
So, if a journal, I feel freedom to type this rambling, open-ended crap and don’t care that you think it is stupid and a waste of time to write it.
I just don’t know if I should put it all away or start again under a different anonymous name. Start one with my face on it? Keep this all to myself?We’ll see.
For now, I will re-publish some of my earlier posts…can’t hurt. Maybe that will inspire…