This post may have absolutely ZERO relevance to anyone but me. So? This blog started as a journal, and I actually have a small few who read it, therefore, I can write personal issues and not feel bad about it. I mean, I am no Jon Acuff, right?
When I was a highly successful, much decorated, well-respected (had enough?) basketball coach, one of my favorite things to do to the opposing team was to lull them into a sense of comfort. Even granting them success at times....How so?
My favorite way was by playing the same defense for looooong stretches of time. In fact, one particular season I did it for an entire game to set up my strategy for the next time we played!!! I knew we were matched up against this team in the playoffs, but we played them the last game of the regular season as well. I played the same zone THE ENTIRE FIRST GAME. They called a few timeouts, figured out some ways to attack it, and I think they were comfortable and confident with their gameplan heading into the playoff game.
"We got this! We know what's coming! We know how to beat this!!"
But, oh boy.
I started the playoff game in the same zone. In fact, stuck with it until the 2nd quarter. They were ready!!!
WE UNLEASHED "BEDLAM!!!"
We went from our reserved zone to a frenzied, in-your-face, attacking, ChAoTiC trapping defense.
3 of their players almost cried. (while I do not propose that making high school girls cry in general is a good thing, in this case, I would call it a success!)
Before they knew it, we had taken their gameplan and made it obsolete. Their week of practice went down the tubes. There was only confusion and frustration left.
We whipped them.
We pulled a Switcheroo!
For the last week, the Adversary has done the same to ME!
My gameplan for fighting off his attacks were not working. My mental preparation for dealing with him was useless. Not because the Bible isn't powerful, but I was calling on the wrong gameplan.
See...dealing with constant mental attacks of guilt have become the norm. Feelings of guilt resulting from events in my past that have caused massive amounts of damage to my financial security and my reputation and my whole life, really, have actually been dealt with. I have received godly counsel from some amazing men who have pointed me to the Scriptures:
Psalm 103:12 NIV "...as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."
Romans 8:1-2 (NKJV) "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death."
So while I don't have guilt completely whooped, I have been combatting it well.
But recently, he pulled a Switcheroo!
He has slowly been robbing my joy!
People who I used to be close to, shared many laughs with, SERVED GOD WITH...people who I considered to be my closest friends have been coming to mind lately, and I have been enveloped in a cloud of sadness...really, GRIEF over what I have lost. (for background, read my earlier posts about why I call myself Lazarus)
This may sound lame, and if you have never been through this, you may not understand the emotion of it, but a despair has had a hold of me for a good week. A feeling of being alone. Wanting to call those people, but I can't (or at least shouldn't...trust me).
Basically, I have taken my eyes off GOD and have been looking at poor me.
Interesting new angle of attack.
But, Satan, I am letting you know that you have no power over me. You cannot rob me of my joy anymore. God has revealed to me your new attack.
And I am preparing now to be able to stand against you no matter what you throw at me! I was too guilt-focused. I see it now. I was lulled into false comfort.
Time to get in the Word more. Time to prepare harder. Time for battle...