A couple Sundays ago, the Golden Globes were on. My wife and I turned by when they were giving some kind of lifetime achievement award to Robert DeNiro. They played an amazing montage of many of his movies. He truly is fantastic. Sitting there watching, probably 3 or 4 times I said "I forgot about him in that movie." He has done a wonderful job in so many films, I guess I remembered the top 4 or 5, and kind of shuffled the rest away.
But when he started to make his speech...YIKES!
He stammered and stumbled, his jokes fell flat due to awkwarsd rhythm. It was a little embarrassing that without a script, he wasn't the talent his is on the big screen.
But that's not the point. Well, I guess it might be...
The role that stood out to me (that I had forgotten about) was his portrayal of a catatonic patient, Leonard Lowe. He began the movie still, lifeless but when administered a certain drug, he slowly came to life and became a "normal" person again. Unfortunately, the medicine was only effective for short spans. His body began reverting back to a catatonic state, and DeNiro goes through a series of ever-increasing spasms and tics before returning totally unresponsive.
As I thought about DeNiro portraying Leonard, something hit me. I do not know how long the actual filming of the movie took, but however long it was, that is how long DeNiro played the role of Leonard. He doesn't still do it now. After filming was over, so was the character.
Some actor's go through a process many times to prepare for roles called method acting where they truly dive into a character's feelings, emotions, etc. 24/7. Some have done it for up to a year to prepare for a movie or play.
I was a method actor for 30+ years.
Practicing and perfecting my part as a perfect little Christian, all tidy and clean.
Some people could see behind the curtain, so I would avoid them.
I surrounded myself with people who liked me, and were like me.
I could quote scriptures and get into theological arguments with the best.
Soulwinning/visitation? Sign me up!
I have about 25 Soundtracks to Christian songs, if you want to hear them...
and I am sure some good came out of those things, because God is totally in control.
But I could (and still do now waaaaaaaaaaaay more often than I would like) slip back into my role as a "Practical Atheist."- proclaiming Christianity to all around, but living my daily life like He is not real, and definitely not real TO ME.
No offense to Mr. DeNiro, but I think I am not alone. Millions carry out this showy, counterfeit Christianity daily....
**High School kids claiming PURITY because they didn't do "IT', but have done everything but.
**Pastors who preach the gospel more for their own PRIDE than for the GLORY of GOD.
**Deacons who enjoy the POWER of leadership, but would NEVER be caught in a soup kitchen.
**Hey, how about just the average church members who go everytime the door is open, know every song by heart, volunteer for nursery, sing in the choir, serve as ushers....but haven't cracked the Word of God on their own time in years...
Actors.
I know this sounds like I am blasting any and everyone in the church. I am not.
Unfortunately, we (talk about a huge generalization, but bear with me) as church folk have been programmed and conditioned to be like....this.
Church is supposed to be a place of "FREEDOM"...but only for those who have their stuff together, and GOD FORBID someone admit to struggling with pride, alcoholism, porn, gossip, etc. in CHURCH...where they should be safest, but will be cast out quickest!
Oops....Looks like I accidentally started another blog post there...sorry.
So many people have been doing this for so long, I wonder if they know...really know...who they are. for years, I had MYSELF fooled, and therein lies the real danger. When we play the part so that the role overtakes us and we become this schizophrenic person living all these different lives, that is dangerous and ungodly. And sadly, we don't even know it.
And we wonder why the world calls us hypocrites...because as a whole...
WE ARE!
Robert DeNiro ain't got nuthin' on me.
Father...change me today. For Your glory. Rid me of this prideful acting. Make me walk worthy of the calling You have placed on me.
This is so true. I was reading the comments for Matt's post from yesterday (at TheChurchOfNoPeople.com) and they were full of stories about people who had been hurt by churches. No wonder we're afraid to take off the masks.
ReplyDeleteThis is where I value my small group of close friends. They're the ones who love me--and therefore have permission to call me out when they see me putting on an act.
Glad you are writing again!
Sad, but true. We wear masks to hide our real selves when we should be all about transparency and openness. Hopefully we are getting better.
ReplyDeleteI notice the same schizophrenia all the time, but as you said there have even been times that I have unfortunately deceived myself and loose my grip on reality. Many believers in the church today are bothered by the same thing, but can't really put their finger on what's bothering them. They long for something real, genuine and authentic, but the current sham is much easier. So like water we follow the path of least resistance and tell ourselves that we'll get around to being real next week.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I think our leaders are just as blind if not more blind than the rest of us. The great weight of responsibility and the pride of their position add to the cloud in front of their eyes. Most of the time, they are just too buxy meeting the needs of church members and planning the next big event to spend much time in prayer about the matter. The average church member looks up to their leadership and figures if they aren't blowing any whistles, then everything must really be okay and all their worrying about "being real" was just a bunch of nonsense.
I long for us all to wake up! But what am I doing about it? I long for our leaders to sound the battle cry for authenticity in the church and a fresh return to true spirituality! But what am I doing about it.
Well, I had more to say on this topic, but gotta run. The church picnic is this afternoon, so I gotta get my sandwiches ready and then I have to get back for choir practice. This year's Easter musical is going to be off the hook, so we just have to put in the hours. I'll get back around to digging for real answers just after I finish all this church stuff. Hey, don't judge me. Everything we're doing is for the glory of God...right?
Btw, good post! I liked it!